And I'm Missing You
by AndLearnToFly
Summary: "Its strange, how you can be in the same room as someone and miss them". Kurt and Blaine. Fluff. Hope. Complete. One Shot.


_I got my heart broken last week. I'd liked him for so long, and we finally had gotten our shit together. One of those friendships that you know are forever, and you know that could turn into love that was forever. I'd been falling for him, so when he let go I hit the ground hard. Its so hard to hold yourself back from being hurt when you find someone that makes you feel like you're the only two people in the world.  
><em>

_I need to know that beautiful, fairy tale love exists. I need to know that someday, someone might come along who can kiss it all better._

_Kurt and Blaine let me believe that. So heres some fluff, to make me believe. One Shot._

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><p>Thud.<p>

Thud.

Thud.

Blaines heart was beating in his chest so loudly, so fast that it seemed impossible that no one else could hear it.

His hands were shakey, and when he picked up his cup of tea it spilled from the rim and onto the table. If there was one time where he could have refraimed from being his usual clumsy, messy self it would be now.

He was on edge. His eyes were tired and shoulders slumped forward.

He'd hardly slept last night, not since getting the text from Kurt.

"Blaine- We need to talk. Anything on after school tomorrow?".

Blaine had seen it and instantly known something was wrong. He felt hot and cold all at once, and an anxious shiver began to move its way down his neck and back.

He replied immediately, "No- 4 o'clock work for you?"

"Fine. Lima Bean?"

"Yeah, Kay. See you tomorrow X"

No reply came back. Which wasnt just unusual, but unheard of. Kurt always replied back. Always.

You know that feeling when you just know something bad is going to happen? It sinks into your bones, and every movement you make seems to take double the amount of energy as usual. Your eye lids are so heavy, but every time you close them your mind shows you all the things you dont want to see. Exhaustion suffocated you, and you can't comprehend ever feeling anything but this.

Thats how Blaine felt.

And now he sat in the Lima Bean, at 3:45 with a cup of English Breakfast Tea that had 3 teaspoons of sugar stirred into it.

His eyes flickered from his cup to the door every couple of seconds.

The minutes ticked by, and just as the clock above the front counter flicked to 4 o'clock a porcelain figure pushed open the door and let his fingers move his hair back in place before taking off his scalf and letting his eyes look around the room.

He saw Blaine and a small smile escaped and set itself on his lovely face. He walked over slowly, and put down his bag.

"Hey, I'm just gunna grab a coffee before...".

He mumbled the rest of the sentance, turned his back and walked away before Blaine had opened his mouth, "Oh, a-a-alright".

Its funny, _how you can be in the same room as someone and miss them_. Something was wrong. Something was different. No kiss to say hello. No bright how-are-you's. No shy smiles.

Blaine watched Kurt order his drink, pay and then wait. He watched him stir in a sugar, and lick the tip of the spoon. How strange, thought Blaine, how he had a whole new awe for the elegance in which Kurt constantly moved. He'd forgotten to watch, to see how beautiful Kurt was. And now he subconsciously burned into his memory everything about Kurts movements, the hard lines of his body and each little featured of his face.

Kurt sat down, and took a sip of his coffee.

He looked up, and kept his eyes hovering just above Blaines head.

"So, how was your day?"

"Kurt, No small talk. Not right now. Just... Just cut to the chase, Kay?" Blaines voice wasnt harsh or frustrated, just tired.

"Yeah. Alright".

Their eyes met, and each took a moment to breath.

Kurt opened his mouth. Then close it. Then opened it again, took a deep breath and started.

"I can't do it, Blaine. I can't do this. Us. Its been 6 weeks, and I'm falling. Hard. For you. And I care for you too much to go any further".

"So you want to be with me so much that you... dont want to? Forgive me but, what the hell does that mean!"

"Relationships hurt. Love hurts. Sometime, someday I just know that Im going to do something that breaks your heart. I'm going to say something that you hate, or not have enough time for you or go to University in another state. Im not always going to be able to let this work. And I can't let this happen, to go further. If we leave it how it is now, we can stay friends. We can find people that it doesnt mean so much with".

"No, Kurt. I'm so happy with you. I wont let it only last this long. This is a dream, and I need it to last longer".

Kurts eyes watered up, and his breath got stuck in his throat.

"D-d-don't say that, you have no idea how hard this is for me. I don't want to hurt you. Its breaking my heart, it physically hurts, to do this. But its either not or later on when its going to be so much harder".

Blaine was overwhelmed with feeling. Sadnesses, Hurt, Rejection. And something else, something he couldnt quite put his finger on.

They fell silent. Not an awkward silence. Both of them just forming what they needed to say into words.

Blaine reached over, and took hold of Kurts arm. Kurt went to move it away, but Blaine kept his fingers tight as they moved onto his wrist and he put them on the pulse. He closed his eyes, and felt the beating to Kurts heart. It was moving fast.

Opening his eyes, he kept his fingers on the pulse.

"I want you. And I'm ready to take a risk, a chance for you. You're so beautiful that I can't even comprehend to not take this jump".

Kurt sighed, and his shoulders slumpt forward.

"Kurt, I know its hard. I know its impossible to think of the pain it could cause to fall anymore and then not have someone there to catch you. But ignore that. Because it doesnt matter. I don't want to worrry, I dont want to miss out. I just want to be with you instead".

Their searching eyes met, and Blaines hands moved to cup Kurts face.

"_Lets just fall in love instead_"

"Okay. This is terrible risk management. But Okay"

"I can't promise to keep you happy. I can't promise to be with you forever. This might crash and burn and go completely wrong. But I can promise to try. I will try my hardest for you, and for me".

"Thank you. I guess what we have is worth this".

"It is. And Thank You".

Kurt chuckled, "For what?"

"For letting me love you".

Kurt blinked, and then really smiled for the first time that day.

"No problem. Anything for you".

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><p><em>Thanks for reading. Reviews and favourites are always well appreciated. <em>

**"Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many people call you, and it's not about who you've dated, are dating, or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who you kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you. It's not about your shoes or your hair or the color of your skin or where you live or go to school. In fact, it's not about grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn't about that. But life is about who you love, and who you hurt. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness, and compassion". -Anonymous**


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